Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
