Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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