Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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