She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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