But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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