Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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