My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
