i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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