Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize