Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
