OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We left an ass print on the piano.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
