If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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