My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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