new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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