When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize