She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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