i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
