Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
