Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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