your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
