I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
