Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
