i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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