Yo dont text me then not text me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
