first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
