he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
