New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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