Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
