They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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