This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
