I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
