I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
