You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
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gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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