the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
