Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
