I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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