There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You are the jesus of drinking
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
