ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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