We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
