a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
