My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
