I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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