Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life is pants optional.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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