Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize