You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
