brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize