How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
