I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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