You smell like a Billy Joel song
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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