Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
