I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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