even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
