biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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