i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
