If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Boobs are out for the taking
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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