Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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