So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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