dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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