I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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